Fourth complaint; it's just bad writing, okay? Okay.Sunday, June 14, 2009
I have just read what is quite possibly the worst book I have ever come across. It was awful. Hideous. Shocking. Reprehensible. I recommend that the author's Microsoft Word application be deleted and that she should never be allowed to write anything ever again, not even her own name.
I am talking, of course, about one of the many unofficial 'guides' to Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. I didn't think it was possible, but this guide is worse than the original books, which are at least entertaining if not particularly original. I picked up the book in the vague hope that there would be some interesting tidbits of information about vampiric history in it that I was not already familiar with; however after the second chapter I kept reading out of a sort of morbid fascination, akin to the fascination we feel with grisly automobile accidents and the like. No, it cannot be. Writing this terrible cannot possibly exist.
BUT IT DOES.
First complaint; the author's constant interruptions with 'interesting' facts about her mundane life, and how they relate to the story. Lady, please. You are a middle aged woman with children writing about how sexy a 17-year-old-looking vampire born in 1901 is. Have some pride. We are not interested in how much it hurt when you gave birth, we are not interested in how you did not make out with any of the cute boys in your old high school. Doubtless there was good reason for that.
Second complaint; the obvious bias against Jacob Black. I am not a huge fan of him, but seriously. There is no need to demean him just because he is not Edward Cullen, who is not really that great anyway.
Third complaint; the fangirling. Internet forums are for fangirling. Books are not. If you want to fangirl, get an account on adultfanfiction.net or something like all the other middle-aged sexually repressed women. Do not publish a book about how awesome Edward' Cullen's abs are.
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Me: Do you find her annoying?
Pierre: Are you kidding me? She's frigging annoying, man.
Me: I know, she never stops talking!
Pierre: HAHA THAT WAS SO ASIAN. "She never stops tokkeeeeeeng!"
- Lunch, in the computer lab.
I'm gonna miss Pierre alot when he graduates. Karim as well.
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009
'A penny for your thoughts, but a dollar for your insightOr a fortune for your disasterI'm just a painter and I'm drawing a blank'Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?Fall Out Boy I've always liked Fall Out Boy's less popular songs. 'Thks fr the Mmrs' and 'This Ain't a Scene' are okay songs, and pretty catchy, but the lyrics from songs like 'Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?' and 'I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears (But None On My Fingers)' appeal to me more. They're so clever with puns and language, and the music isn't bad either.
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Harry Potter is awesome!
Potter Puppet Pals has apparently made quite some progress from the last time I visited their site.
(Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.)
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Saturday, May 16, 2009
I just took a peek at the blog we made for our band last year; it hasn't been updated since the 24th of May last year! Sad how we grow out of these childish dreams and schemes of utter brilliance! Nevertheless, Mister Ogive and the Jenny People will live on in our hearts for all eternity.
I miss sitting in front of Cheryl and Jing Xuan in class. We had so many memorable wu liao moments together that none of them are really memorable now. They just kind of blend together. I'd remember if you reminded me, but for now it's just a stew of images and phrases. And potatoes, because we're awesome that way. When I visited during spring break we drew three potatoes on a large blank sticker I had bought for that express purpose.
The potato Cheryl drew is orange with black spots on it. It has horizontal straight lines for eyebrows, two dot eyes, a 'u' shaped nose and a generous mouth. It also has a green hat and a green guitar that looks like an avocado, as well as legs and arms. He is called El Potato.
Jing Xuan drew the body of her potato in pencil. It has three dimples on it (for texture) and sideways eyes reminiscent of a painting by Picasso, or a flounder. It has fin-like green appendages that pass for arms and green legs and feet. It also has sharp green teeth that are quite ferocious looking. He is called Otapot.
My potato is orange, although not as orange as the one drawn by Cheryl. It has large, round, white eyes with orange pupils, and a huge nose like the one Mr. Potato has. It also has large, oblong pink shoes with long laces tied in neat bows. He has no arms. He was originally named Bob, but we changed it to Brad Pitt.
None of them really look very much like potatoes.
I've started reading 'Overheard in New York' more regularly. I think we should have one for Singapore. Imagine : 'Overheard in Geylang.' We should have one for 415!
Today's favourites:
Burnout #1: Yo, is the Dove company that makes chocolate the same Dove company that makes like lotion?
Burnout #2: Man, what are you talking about?
Burnout #1: I'm just wondering. I was eating Dove chocolate the other day and it said it was "extra creamy." I'm just...ya know...what kind of cream you think they use?
--E Train
Indian employee #1, showing another how to work grill: So you just spray it with vegetable oil and then press down until it's brown.
Indian employee #2: How long?
Indian employee #1: Till its brown like me, not brown like you. Brown like you is too long. Like me, not you.
--Broadway
Goth girl #1: Wow! Then what?
Goth girl #2: It was kinda like taking a big handful of mayo and squishing it around.
--Matt Umanov Guitars, Bleecker St
Courtesy of overheardinnewyork.com.
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Hobey ho, here we go.
In lieu of the fact that I have not posted anything in about 5 months, I'm not going to bother wading through that unreliable quagmire that passes for my memory. Rather I'm going to pick up now; keep it current, that's the way. Too much emotional shit over the last 5 months anyway.
So.
In keeping with tradition I shall now moan about the amount of homework I have, even though with my newfound maturity (haha) I realize that it is pittance in comparison with what I had at RGS. But still. I think freedom of speech includes the right to complain about things that don't really warrant complaining.
At the moment I am attempting to finish my research paper for World History. It has expanded by about three sentences from when I first sat down two hours ago. C'est la vie. Interesting how I managed to write the first two pages over half an hour during lunch, history being the next period. Conclusion: I work best under pressure! I want to finish soon so that I can study for my Trigonometry test tomorrow, but realistically I will probably not study for the test even if I do by some miracle finish the paper. Apparently I haven't changed at all.
I'm fairly happy in most of my classes now, seeing as I'm doing relatively well in most of them without much effort. Amazingly enough, I am even content during chemistry. Math, of course, is another story. I think I have this self-imposed mental block that prevents me from understanding anything more complex than addition, subtraction and multiplication. Even division is beyond me. English composition and literature remain my favourite subjects, and I enjoy having an excuse to write fiction again. Exposition is okay, but who really wants to write opinion pieces for a whole school year?
I recently contracted James Blunt fever, probably on the way back from a family weekend trip where I was forced into the new Sequoia for 8 hours with nothing to watch but music videos. So I ended up watching Ronan Keating and James Blunt over and over again. Seriously, how could I not adore James Blunt after finding out that he served in the Royal Air Force? Apparently he worked in Kosovo during the humanitarian crisis there. Gotta love a man in uniform.
Apparently NCC has left some interesting after-effects."And is it envy? Should it really make you sick?Is now the time that you realise you'd better get out quick?'Cause time is ticking on too long to fake your smile,But then you sold your soul for a leading role, so wear it for a while.And if I can't hear the music and the audience is gone,I'll dance here on my own.And I hope the Lonely Hearts' Club Band will play out one last song,Before the sun goes down,And there she goes. And there she goes.So run, Yoshimi, run. 'Cause Billy's got himself a gun,And you're right to be afraid they'll send you to your grave'Cause you're strange and new." I Can't Hear the MusicJames Blunt
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